Urban Meyer is a symptom of the real problem of domestic violence

Yesterday, former ESPN reporter Brett McMurphy broke a story on his Facebook page that alleges Ohio State head coach Urban Meyer knew that Zach Smith – a former assistant recently fired for a domestic violence incident – was involved in a previous domestic violence incident in 2015. This was after he denied knowing about that specific event during SEC Media Days.

Meyer has been placed on paid administrative leave until an Ohio State investigation is completed.

If the allegations against Urban Meyer are true, he’s not going to be the head coach at Ohio State anymore. Not reporting an incident of domestic violence likely is a Title IX violation and could result in his being fired with cause. Plus, it’s an incredible PR disaster for Ohio State.

But that’s not what really matters to me.

Above I called the alleged incidents involving Smith “domestic violence incidents”, but that doesn’t really capture the gravity of what he is alleged to have done. If true, he repeatedly beat, stalked and threatened his wife, Courtney Smith.

One such incident detailed in McMurphy’s report contains the following description:

The (police) report said Zach Smith, then 25, “picked (Courtney) up, by grabbing her T-shirt and threw her against the bedroom wall.”

Courtney Smith was 8-10 weeks pregnant when this is alleged to have happened.

Then it is alleged that Zach Smith’s grandfather and Hiram de Fries (two of Meyer’s closest friends) convinced Courtney not to press charges because it would cause Zach to lose his job.

And all I’ve received since are questions about poaching Ohio State’s recruits.

Look, I get it. The way Meyer left Gainesville rubbed some people the wrong way. Dan Mullen is a Meyer disciple and so lots of Meyer’s recruits would fit his system. And Mullen hasn’t exactly set the world on fire with his recruiting.

But this is so much more important than football.

One particular part of McMurphy’s report stood out to me more than the rest. When talking about calling 911 to report the abuse, Courtney Smith said the following:

I hung up out of fear because I was scared Zach would lose his job.

It reminded me of this piece that I read by Diana Moskovitz of Deadspin almost two years ago detailing why zero tolerance policies for domestic violence don’t work. Those kinds of policies put the victim in the untenable situation of having to choose between having money to eat and having the abuser punished.

When I hear about the abuse – and see the pictures that Courtney Smith provided – I want Zach Smith to lose his job. But perhaps that’s part of the issue. I’m far more interested in feeling like Zach Smith got what he deserved than I am about actually solving the problem.

I’m not a domestic violence expert. And likely those much more versed in its nuances would be better served making this argument. But I know there has to be a better way to approach these things than having a spouse who won’t report she’s getting beaten because her husband is the sole breadwinner.

And the flip side of that is if she won’t report her spouse, at what point is her employer responsible to make that decision for her? Title IX clearly says that both Meyers are responsible by the letter of the law. That probably means that he is dismissed, but I don’t really care about that.

Yes, if the allegations are true then Urban Meyer failed Courtney Smith. Shelley Meyer failed Courtney Smith. So did the other wives of Ohio State’s staff, who knew about the abuse and did nothing. So did the authorities. So did judges who sealed divorce proceedings that revealed details about the abuse.

But we failed Courtney Smith too. We expect that a football coach – with a Master’s degree in sports administration – is an adequate barrier between a woman and a man who simultaneously supports her and abuses her.

And we fail all the other Courtney Smiths out there because we only really pay attention to these kinds of things when it impacts the college football season. We only get upset when there are pictures, or salacious details or someone we can point at and mock because they get paid $8 million and left Florida unceremoniously.

And even that doesn’t really stick. After all, former Baylor head coach Art Briles just got hired to be the head coach of a team in Italy today and his son Kendall has been hired as an offensive coordinator twice since the Baylor scandal hit.

If you turn on ESPN or visit any sports website, the topic is whether Meyer will be able to “survive” the scandal or discussions about his legacy. If you go on Twitter, the only thing many Florida fans seem to be concerned with is whether Meyer receives his karmic comeuppance for leaving or who could be targeted for the 2019 recruiting class. And if you were on Twitter last week, you may have seen comments trumpeting “Florida is back” because the Gators finally have “real” criminals on the team after Justin Watkins’ arrest for allegedly strangling a woman.

The lack of empathy is staggering.

Courtney Smith went to a reporter because every other avenue to stop the abuse failed. Zach Smith has been allowed to abuse with impunity because nobody stopped him and made him get help. This happens every day, in every town, on every street (10 million people in the U.S. annually, according to National Coalition Against Domestic Violence).

To pretend like this is isolated to Meyer is just as inane as pretending that he won’t get another shot at another school after going through the Bobby Petrino reputation laundering machine^TM. And to pretend that whether Meyer stays or goes at Ohio State is even remotely material to the real question here of ‘how do we stop a woman from getting beaten in front of her children’ is just nauseating.

It may make us feel better to throw dirt on Meyer. But to actually solve this problem is going to take a lot more than a sign that says “TREAT WOMEN WITH RESPECT” in all caps or the firing of Urban Meyer.

It’s going to require us as a society – and us as college football fans – taking a good long look in the mirror.

If you want to make a difference, I’d encourage you to support a local domestic violence shelter. You can find information about one local to Gainesville at peacefulpaths.org or one local to me at laurel-house.org. Read and Reaction will have t-shirts for sale in the next couple of weeks. All proceeds will go to support Laurel House. Thank you!